A single overhead light hums. The Detective sits across from a young woman, Vanessa, who shifts nervously in her chair. A recorder sits between them.
The detective clears his throat and presses record.
Detective: This is Detective David, Metropolitan Police. Time is 21:14, September 29th. Subject is wearing a dark grey coat, black jeans, hair tied back.
(He leans forward, his tone is firm and precise.)
Detective: Vanessa, for the record, can you recall the events of November 24th, 2023?
The subject stares emptily at the top right corner of the room, as a single tear rolls down her cheek. The back of her mind itches, as memories flood in like a VHS tape on a loop.
Subject:
Some questions never demand answers; they simply linger and echo, circling the edges of consciousness until we cannot help but notice them, even if we try. What really happened on the 24th of November? How could I ever forget the day darkness crept through the cracks of my old wooden door and attempted to engulf me in the depths of its heart?
The whispers didn’t stop, no matter how much I tried to ignore them. I dragged myself along the path leading home, wrapped in despair and drowning in the relentless flood of sadness and doubt that consumed every inch of my mind. The idle chatter of my friend drifted into the nighttime as I slowly sank into the evil whispers of my mind.
“Vanessa, can you hear me? HELLO!!” Her words drifted increasingly into a faint and desperate cry. The voices in my head grew louder and louder, and the darkness that once tugged at my heart and at the edge of my mind grew from a fleeting thought to a fractured reality. “It’ll be like you never left,” “You need to leave,” “The pain will finally stop,” “Are you worth it?” STOP! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! A fog of pain settled behind my eyes, making thinking slow and heavy. “VANESSA,” she screamed frantically, and reality set in. The warmth of her palm anchored my racing thoughts, pulling me back from the speeding car, and for a split second, hope seemed one touch away.
“What are you doing? Do you want to kill yourself?” she cried. Yes, I did. I had never felt the warm embrace of love or the light that joy brings – what was left to live for? Soon enough, the voices of worry, concern and fear faded to the back of my mind, and the voices trickled down my consciousness like the last drop of rain on a wide window. “It would be nice to leave, wouldn’t it?” “You’ll finally be happy,” “You need to leave,” “DIE!” The voices began to rain louder than a hurricane as the journey to my house came closer and closer.
The familiarity of my ramshackle room tugged at the edge of my mind, “What better place than this?”. One thought, just one, slipped through the gateway in my mind, dragging me into an emotional spiral. Suddenly, my silent sobs turned into a cry filled with pain, hurt and a plea for help. No matter how I tried, the end seemed inevitable. I began to pace down the narrow path in my room, each step heavier than the last. I need to do something! What can I do? I scurried quickly to the edge of my table and grabbed my phone, frantically saying my last goodbyes. Maybe it was a desire to spend my last 10 minutes with the closest people to me. Maybe it was a determination to say my last goodbyes. A little voice from the depths of my heart whispered, “Maybe I wasn’t too far gone,” “Maybe someone can help me,” “Is this really the end of my worthless life?” It was a cry of desperation, a cry for help… a glimpse of hope.
A rush of energy jolted through my body like the engine of a weak vehicle, and I rushed to the kitchen as my mind flooded with a million possible ways to end it all. All I needed was one object, just one. I quickly rummaged through all the utensils I had until I laid my hands on my last chance of survival… my only way out. There it was, gleaming with a quiet menace, reaching towards me and guiding me to the thin line between safety and sudden ruin. Was a knife always this sharp?
I hurried down the hallway, down the stairs. Where was I going? To find freedom, to look for a way out… to fill the void in my heart. HELP! The voices swelled, each one pressing and pounding the walls of my heart until silence felt like a distant memory. Finally, the darkness I once called my friend overshadowed me. Slowly but surely, all I knew as reality faded into a distance, and the light of the world slipped away like a candle’s final flicker.
I stopped in my tracks as a loud bang came from the door, followed by a voice that echoed in my mind: “Vanessa!!! Vanessa!!” “Vanessa, LET ME IN!” Suddenly, a light shone through the endless tunnel in my mind, running towards me with outstretched arms and a warm embrace. This was more than a person, more than a sound, more than a voice. It was hope. It was love. It was a shepherd.
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me” (Psa 23:4). Even when my fears and my depressed soul seemed helpless and alone, there was a person who ran into the deepest and emptiest room in my soul. Not to give me a cure, not to vanquish the darkness that surrounded my heart, but to hold my trembling arms and lead me as the only light to the end of the tunnel where the door of salvation welcomed me home…
Detective: For the record, subject has failed to answer repeated questions and has remained silent throughout the interview.
I’m ready to close this up.
(Irritated, he begins gathering his notes. He starts to unzip his bag, the sharp sound cuts through the silence. He pauses.)
One last time, Vanessa, what happened that day?
Subject:
(She sighs, and a faint smile begins to form as she slowly looks up.)
On November 24th, 2023, the love of God was manifested as a light to dispel the darkness from my fragile heart. I heard the knocking of Jesus on the door of my heart, and I finally opened up..
(A heavy silence lingers in the room. The tape recorder hums on.)
Romans 5:6 TLB
When we were utterly helpless, with no way of escape, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners who had no use for him.
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Forsake the world 