**/12/2024 [16:00] – ONE THING IS NEEDFUL

My shepherd told me that oftentimes we forget the needful thing, and how true that is. I see now that I had strayed; my heart had moved over time. “Ye are they which justify yourselves, but God looks at the heart, and that which is highly esteemed in the eyes of men is an abomination to God” (Mt 13:44). My heart changed, my heart moved. It moved into seeking vainglory, prideful and selfish ambition. To rise, to ascend! Are those not the ambitions the devil had in heaven? The pride of a novice filled me, and I was moved from what was needful. I looked at what great men of God did and set myself the same targets. But I was not after their intimacy with the Lord, but rather their stage, their honour, their recognition, and the praise that would follow their ministry.

My shepherd told me that if you have a heart for souls, you can have a ministry. But if your heart is after a ministry, then you will have nothing. Oh, how I had been moved! Moved from the heart of worship, moved from the genesis of my salvation. My eyes were not fixed on Him; they were rather fixed on the glory and honour I thought He would give me.

As a result, I no longer experienced the presence. That sweet Holy Spirit I once met with every day had left, and my quiet times became dry and forgettable. Oh how I would run to the secret place! Oh how I used to experience the glory of His presence. Oh how I would receive beautiful revelations from His Word. Oh how He would fill me with love, joy and peace. Oh how I loved talking about the Holy Spirit. You should have seen the excitement with which I spoke of Him, the wonder in my eyes. How I was in love with Jesus! The One who saved me. When I hated Him, when I was His enemy and wanted nothing to do with Him, He picked me from the miry clay and set my feet on the solid rock to stand. And oh how I stood! I stood with my love intact. My heart would race at the thought of going back to the secret place. How I would lie on the floor and wait for Him to come. How He manifested in so many different ways. I hear the loud screams of laughter, I see the shakings, I feel the excitement, I feel the tears, I remember the awe, the awe of God! I remember the burden He gave me. My God, there is nothing like the presence of God. How beautiful the Scriptures tasted when He was there. There is nothing like it.

But I was moved. My heart was moved. I had other ambitions, unfortunate ambitions, which were leading to my demise. Nobody noticed, but I knew I was dry, I knew I was far. I tried many plans and initiatives to return to Him, but nothing worked. I had lost His voice. How far I was.

When all my efforts had failed, one cry remained. I prayed for a quickening! For it is He who works in us to will and to do. Oh and how He worked in me! He changed my heart. I felt His presence on the way to the secret place. And when I shut the door and locked it, something was different. This quiet time was about to be different from what it had been in recent times. My heart was racing. This was the Godly sorrow. I repented. I wanted Him back. And how true the Scripture is, He will never forsake us. He was back. What love is this? My heart was quickened, I was worshipping in spirit and in truth. How I had missed Him. Where was I all this time? How could I have left His love for any other alternative? What a fool I had been.

Truly, truly, one thing is needful. To be at His feet. There is a sweet, sweet Spirit in this place, and I know it is the presence of the Lord. Sweet Holy Spirit, sweet heavenly Dove, Stay right here with us, filling us with Your love. How I wish everyone would know this Holy Spirit. He is more real than real. My lover, my beloved. The honour is not in the title or the stage; it is that a mighty God would love me so much to save me and to fellowship with me. I have been honoured, I have been favoured. How I love You.

Psalm 80:18
So will not we go back from thee: quicken us, and we will call upon thy name.